Are you sure you're ready for this?
Well, I'd quit this place if I could,
but I can't.
So if being an ER doctor is no longer an option for me,
I'll... I'll take being a hospital chaplain.
I appreciate the opportunity.
The new meds don't work, huh?
Have you given any more thought to surgery?
- Deep Brain Stimulation? - Mm-hmm.
Yes, yes, I've given it a lot of thought.
Especially the risks.
I-I could lose my memory. I could lose my life.
Or it could be life-changing, Rollie.
Fields says you're a good candidate for it.
But you may not be for much longer.
Yes, I know. I know.
I really think you should...
reconsider this because it...
Looks like we got a big one coming in.
Apartment fire.
Listen, I heard what you said, Dr. Campbell.
It's just that I've made my decision.
All right.
Well, there's rules for your new position.
- Yes. - You can provide counsel or comfort
to those who request it, but you cannot...
I can't tend to patients.
And no doctoring. Understood.
First ambulance on the ramp in two minutes.
Okay, thanks. Hey, guys!
30 to 40 patients on their way in.
Expect smoke inhalation, burns, trauma.
Second-years, what are the burn victim pearls?
Intubate early.
For any signs of airway burns.
And expect a fluid deficit.
Hey, Rollie. Good to see you.
- Good to see you, too, Leanne. - Dr. Guthrie.
No, no. It's just Rollie now, young squire.
Oh, come on. You're still a doctor.
It's better that I don't confuse the patients.
I'm just here to support now.
I'm glad you are.
Leighton, Pineda, Savetti, get out there now.
There will be distraught families coming in.
Yeah, I'll be there.
- What do you got? - 55-year-old male.
Smoke inhalation and shortness of breath.
Complains of 10 out of 10 chest pain.
Lola? Lola?
- His daughter. - Lola!
Lost her balance getting him out the window onto the ladder.
- Fell two stories. - She ride in with you?
- No. Another rig. - What do you got?
28-year-old female. Second degree burns to the chest and neck.
Diffuse wheezes from smoke inhalation.
Okay, why is she restrained?
Acute agitation, totally incoherent.
I suspect altered mental status secondary to hypoxia.
My daughter. She saved me.
Let's get him to Center Stage.
That's Arabic. She's saying something about a baby.
Did we get a baby in here?
There might be a baby on one of those ambulances.
- Let's check. - Eloise, go to dispatch.
Find out if there's an unattended infant to be brought in.
And get a translator down here, please.
Center Stage!
It's full. You'll have to put him in sides.
Where is he? Where's the kid?
Sir, I just need you to sit back.
- I just need you to breathe. - Kid? Your kid?
No. The little bastard who did this.
He started the fire. He burned down my building.
Breathe with me. Breathe.
Calm, calm, calm.
Her wheezing's getting worse.
Let's start her on a breathing treatment.
And 5 of Haldol IV push, please.
- What do you got? - 26-year-old female, unconscious,
blunt trauma to her abdomen with guarding
and bilateral lower extremity fractures.
- Couldn't palpate a pulse. - Okay, confirm with a doppler.
On it! Let's go.
I need to know how my daughter is.
Where's Lola?
My chest. It's hurtin'.
I'm giving you some pain meds right now.
He's gonna need the cath lab. It looks like a heart attack.
Cath lab's not gonna cut it. You see the ST depression
in leads I and II and the elevation in AVR?
- Left main infarction. - Yep. He's gonna need a bypass.
Call the OR. Get it dialed up right now.
No blood flow to the foot. We need to reduce this.
- Dr. Willis? - On my way.
Thank you. Ready?
You get the foot? Ready?
- Daddy? - One, two, three...
Aah!
Dr. Willis, he's arresting.
Go. I'll check the pulse and re-splint.
Starting CPR.
Daddy?
Daddy, I'm right here.
We gotta get him out of here now.
Dad?
Daddy? Daddy, I love you.
- Daddy! - You need to sit still, okay?
- Your ankle's unstable. - Lola? Lola,
your father's had a heart attack.
We're taking him to the OR.
We're gonna take care of him.
All right, good blood flow to the foot.
She needs to get an abdominal CT as soon as she's splintered.
Meds are in.
Okay. Uh, Kerlix and Silvadene, please.
Got it.
I got a 4-month-old male here.
Minor first and second degree burns.
Sats are good.
Look there. They found your baby.
- He's safe. - Sami!
I need to get him up to NICU.
Let her see him, please.
She can't hold him because of her burns.
Please.
- Here we go. Quickly. - Okay? Calm down.
Yeah. Huh?
He'll be okay. I need to treat him now.
Adira!
- He'll be right over there. - It's okay. They found him.
No, no, no.
Something is not right. Something is not right.
- She said "babies." - What?
Babies. Not baby. Babies.
Hold on. Are there two?
You have two babies?
There's two of them. They're twins.
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Tell that driver to turn off the damn siren
in the ambulance bay.
Okay, all right.
I said they're twins.
You only brought us one.
We brought a couple of vics to St. Joe's.
I called St. Joe's.
Okay, I'll check around. Description?
Approximately 6 months old, a female...
Do I really have to describe an infant to you?
Tell you what, just bring me whatever babies you find.
How's that?
I need to see my father.
Please?
Can any... can anyone hear me?
- Is there a doctor around? - Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Someone who can... - Hey, what's going on here?
I'm trying to see my father and nobody is taking me,
no one will tell me anything.
Because you have two broken legs and a lacerated liver.
So you can't go anywhere right now.
Plus, he's still in surgery.
Whoa, hey. Hey. Hey.
Do I have to put you in restraints?
You don't understand. We were fighting and...
I said something.
Fathers and daughters fight all the time.
What I said to him cannot be the last thing he hears.
I have to tell him I'm sorry.
Okay, well, when he is out of surgery,
- I'll try and take you up. - When?
Hey, Risa. Wanna give me an update on Emanuel?
- Okay. - No.
You need to do this.
This cannot wait.
You need to tell him I'm sorry.
Please.
That's crazy. Rollie Guthrie won the lottery here.
Not everybody's a candidate for the surgery.
Okay. Sew the graft distal to the blockage.
Off the left anterior descending?
- Yeah. - Got it.
You told him that the window's closing, right?
That he's not gonna be a candidate forever.
- He knows. - That's insane.
- Have you asked him why? - Excuse me?
Of course not. Try asking why he doesn't want the surgery.
Maybe he has a good reason.
Adira...
She says the baby was in the bathroom.
Adira is her name.
She's going really fast.
I understand. I understand.
Not your words, but I understand
what you're going through. Okay?
Dr. Rorish.
They found the baby. She's just a few minutes out.
What's her status?
Alive, but non-responsive.
Do you want me to tell her?
No. Not yet.
Are you still in pain?
We can give you more.
That's him. That's him.
He burned down my building.
Sir, you need to stay in your bed, all right?
Jared. Oh, thank God.
Can you hear me? Jared?
He... he's my son. Is he okay? Why... why isn't he responding?
Your son suffered second degree burns
to his chest and abdomen.
Oh. Look who finally shows up.
What? Larry.
Twice a week, I go down to your apartment
and I turn off your smoke alarm
because your kid is burning his dinner.
He likes to cook.
He has to cook 'cause you're never around.
I blame you.
Your neglect burned down that building
and everybody inside of it!
I didn't do it, Dad. I swear.
- Okay, you just keep that on. - I didn't do it.
If my son said he didn't do it, he didn't do it.
- Call the cops! - Hey, stay away from him.
- This is on you! - Get your hands off me.
- That's enough. Get him out of here. - I got him.
- Come on. Back to bed. - You left him alone!
Those people are dead!
This is on you, Devon!
- Dr. Rorish! - Excuse me. What do you got?
30-year-old female. Minor burns. Severely bradycardic.
Hypotensive from smoke inhalation.
Okay, Center Stage is full. Let's get her into sides.
Her son, Jack.
Hi, Jack. We're gonna take good care of your mom, okay?
Eloise is gonna take care of you.
All right, let's go.
She's gonna need some high flow O2.
Let's go. Okay.
All right, ready? One, two, three.
Pulse check, Malaya.
- Heart rate's down in the 20s. - The atropine isn't working.
Should we get dopamine before she codes?
Firemen found this in her bedroom next to her.
Atenolol.
This is a beta blocker overdose.
Dopamine won't work.
- She needs glucagon. - I'm losing her pulse.
Starting CPR.
Dr. Willis. You wanted to see me?
I'm trying to check on Emanuel Johnson.
Still unconscious, but stable. Why?
I have to give him a message from his daughter.
When he wakes up, page me.
Dr. Willis. It's Lola.
What happened?
She tried to get up to see her father,
and her pressure crashed.
We got a baby over here.
Is that the other twin?
Paramedics just found her. No burns.
She was trapped, found unconscious
in a room full of smoke.
Heart rate's 160, decreased cap refill.
Dr. Dixon, what do you see?
Retinal hemorrhages.
Plus cherry-red skin.
This is carbon monoxide poisoning.
- Mommy? - I'm sorry, he ran off.
Let's get him out of here now.
- Glucagon is in. - Please work.
Looks like she opened that liver laceration.
- We gotta stop the bleed. - Her abdomen's filled with blood.
Center Stage. Let's go.
We've gotta get her to a hyperbaric chamber.
She needs high-pressure oxygen
to displace carbon monoxide in the hemoglobin.
- I'll get an attending. - No, no.
There's nobody else but you right now.
Wait, what?
I got four ambulances about to hit the ramps.
Rollie, you're gonna have to go in with him.
No, no, no. I can't treat patients.
Look, you'll be outside the chamber. No time to argue.
You gotta get her there now. Go!
Let's go.
- Jesse! - Yo!
Good. Get me 2 units running wide open.
You got it.
BP is 64 systolic.
It looks like it's posterior. Probably the IVC.
Let's try a pringle.
Buy us some time till we get her up to the OR.
Bleeding's slowing down.
BP's coming up. She's not out of the woods yet.
All right, let's get her up to the OR.
Her oxygen levels are plummeting.
You have to intubate.
I've never intubated a baby.
Dr. Dixon, listen to me.
You are her only chance. Do you understand?
You can do this.
A baby's relatively bigger head causes the neck to flex.
Put a towel roll under her shoulders to improve your view.
Okay.
Good, good.
Okay, keep it steady. Keep it steady.
Tell me what you see.
Uh...
nothing. I mean, the cords. They're too anterior.
All right. Switch to a Miller blade.
It'll help lift the epiglottis.
Focus, Dr. Dixon.
It's just you and your patient.
- I can't see. - All right, all right.
Then pull up and see if you can push past the tube.
She's flatlining. I need help.
I can't open the door.
It's pressurized. Elliot, start compressions.
Check for a pulse.
Damn it!
How long has she been asystolic?
32 minutes.
Call it.
No.
No, I can keep going.
Dr. Dixon, you've done everything you can.
You have to be the one to call it.
I can't.
Time of death... 11:01 P.M.
Please get me out of here.
I can't.
We have to decompress the chamber first.
How long?
About an hour.
I'm sorry, son.
I wish I could've helped you.
Hey.
That the pastor's daughter?
Lola.
Dr. Pinkney and I slowed the bleeding,
but she's got a deep hepatic injury
and a possible IVC fracture.
Well, as long as the vascular supply is intact,
I'm sure we can save most of the liver.
Yeah, she wanted me to tell her father something important,
- but he's not awake. - She's bleeding again.
Heading in.
We didn't save Emanuel just to let his daughter die.
Do you mind if I scrub in for this one?
See you in there.
Rima, I am so sorry.
The doctors did everything they could, but...
they were unable to save your baby.
How many people died in the fire?
You know, Jared, uh...
we see some pretty terrible things in here
just about every day.
Terrible accidents.
But...
they are accidents.
I was playing with some firecrackers on the roof.
Just some poppers, a few M-80s.
I was just having some fun.
One of them sparked up
and fell into the drainage pipe.
I was scared to say anything.
I wasn't supposed to be up there.
I didn't think they'd hurt anyone.
All these people are hurt because of me.
They're dead because of me.
How much longer is he in there?
37 minutes.
Dr. Guthrie, the pastor they brought in
is looking for the hospital chaplain.
Go.
I'll stay here with Elliot.
Okay.
Hey, Tracy. How you feelin'?
I sent your son Jack down to the cafeteria
with one of our nurses.
But he wasn't very hungry.
Don't worry. I'll make sure that he eats something.
He's better off without me.
That's not true.
You don't know me.
You're right.
I saw the scars on your wrists.
You've been down this road before.
A couple of times.
You have a son.
You don't think I know that?
We can make some calls, get you some help.
Only help I need is for someone to take that boy.
He needs a good home.
No, but you are his mother.
Stop talking to me like you know me. You don't.
You don't know what I've been through.
Where is his father?
He... left.
Just took off one day.
I am so sorry.
He left me all alone
when I needed him the most.
Tracy, listen to me.
The pills that you took slowed your breathing
so that you ingested less smoke.
As strange as it is to say, your trying to kill yourself
actually saved your life.
This is a second chance if I have ever seen one.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
You can't be moving around like that.
We just repaired a lacerated liver.
Did you get the message to my dad?
Not yet. He's still unconscious from the surgery.
But he's recovering. He's doing well.
He should be up soon.
In the meantime, I'm concerned about you.
You have some healing to do of your own.
"Some healing to do."
That's my father's line.
Pops up all the time in his Sunday sermons.
Well, there's a fine line between faith and medicine.
Are you a man of faith, Dr. Willis?
I have faith in medicine.
My dad would have something to say about that,
as he does about everything.
You two are close?
When he's not breathing down my neck.
He can't accept the fact that I'm an adult,
that I can make my own decisions.
Well, sometimes it's hard to let go of the people you love.
I wasn't asking him to let go,
just let me go to New York.
What's in New York?
Broadway.
Oh.
Are you a dancer?
Singer.
I've been in the church choir since I can remember,
but when I was 12,
I saw "Les Mis."
He always says, "If you wanna find God, you go to church."
Well, if you wanna sing, you go to New York.
Is that what you fought about?
He said I was turning my back on him, on the church, on God.
I told him I didn't care. It was a bad fight.
I yelled at him, "To hell with God."
The look on his face, I may as well have spit on him.
He has to know that
I didn't mean any of that.
He needs to know that I love him and I'm sorry.
How 'bout I take you up there and you tell him yourself?
I just have to check on a patient.
I'll be back in 10 minutes.
Rima, I know how difficult this is for you.
And believe me, there are no words of comfort
anyone can give to you.
But Sami's still here.
He's going to be all right.
You still have him.
You have each other.
"No. I don't wanna see him."
No, Rima. Please, he's your son.
"No, I don't wanna see him."
"I don't wanna see him."
"I don't want to see him.
"My daughter is dead. My daughter is dead."
Okay, okay.
Hi. I'm Rollie Guthrie. I'm the hospital chaplain.
You wanted someone to pray with?
I was just praying for my daughter.
Yes, of course.
I must confess, it's my first day as a chaplain.
I'm not exactly qualified in a traditional sense.
I'm a doctor by trade.
- Do you know your Bible? - I do.
That's a good start.
What's troubling you?
No, I'm here for you, Father.
It helps me if I can help you.
I watched a child die tonight.
And it made you question God.
No, no. I...
You're human.
And humans want answers.
The answers you need
don't come with photographic evidence.
They require that you believe in something you can't see.
Hmm.
After all, that's why we call it faith, isn't it?
Otherwise, we'd call it proof.
My daughter and I, we've been at odds
with each other lately, and I was just asking
God for guidance.
And did you get an answer?
He said if raising children were easy,
he might've had another.
You have children, Rollie?
Yes. A son.
Sadly, we're not close.
I've been trying to reach him.
I'm facing a very difficult decision,
and I need to talk to him first.
I'm... I'm sorry.
I'm scared, Father.
You believe in God, son?
Yes.
Then there's nothing to fear.
Emanuel? Emanuel?
Emanuel?
His lungs are filled with fluid.
Loud diastolic murmur. He ruptured his aortic valve.
Pulse is weak.
We need to get him back to the OR right now.
- Hey. - Hey.
I'm taking Lola up to see her father.
You didn't hear?
Hear what?
He had a catastrophic aortic valve rupture.
We tried an emergent repair, but, uh,
he was too far into cardiogenic shock.
- He died? - Yeah.
I told her I would bring her up in 10 minutes.
An hour ago.
She didn't wanna see her baby?
Grief isn't logical.
No, it's not.
We're lucky we were able to save the one.
I know.
But she's consumed by the death of the other.
That little boy needs her right now.
And she needs him.
- Whoa, whoa. - I wanna see him.
- Shh, shh, shh. - I wanna see him!
Shh, shh.
Did you tell him I was sorry?
I tried. When I did, he was asleep.
Okay? I tried.
Then you should've checked again!
You promised!
You told me you would tell him for me.
Then you said you would take me to go see him,
and you were too busy.
And now he's gone.
You said you'd be right back.
Now my father will never know how much I loved him.
That is just not true.
You don't know that.
You don't know anything.
Lola...
Please, just leave.
I feel so bad for him.
His mom tried to commit suicide.
I don't know what to say to him.
Dr. Pineda, believe me,
there is nothing you can say to make it any better for him.
We reached his father in New York.
He's flying back, but won't land for a while.
Maybe you could talk to him.
No. I can't.
Why not?
Because I can't.
Jared?
Dr. Savetti said you had something you wanted to tell me.
It's okay. You're doing the right thing.
I was too afraid to tell you earlier.
Tell me what?
That I... I did it.
I set the building on fire.
- What? - It was stupid.
I was playing around with some firecrackers.
- Firecrackers? Inside? - It was on the roof.
No, I-I don't care where it was.
What is wrong with you?
- Let's just hold up a minute, all right? - No. People died.
- Dad, I'm sorry. - You're sorry?
Yeah.
I'm gonna have to get a lawyer.
No, you don't.
He didn't do it.
Tell him.
Fire began down in the basement.
What?
It was faulty wiring.
It was my fault, not yours.
I-I am sorry for those things I said.
I was wrong.
Okay.
He's still pretty shell-shocked.
Let me talk to him.
I used to... I used to lay awake at night,
scared of what it might feel like to lose a patient.
I never thought that I would lose...
I-I know, I know, I know.
Losing a child, especially a baby, is...
it's about the hardest thing you're gonna experience in this job.
Then I don't want it anymore.
I quit.
What?
I'm sorry, I can't... I can't do this.
Elliot, listen to me.
Do you know why you're good at it?
Because they're not your patients.
They're you.
Do you understand what I mean?
No.
Sympathy...
is something that almost everybody has.
But empathy, that gift that allows you to feel
what other people are feeling,
you got that locked down.
So you don't leave.
Because this is not your job, son.
It's your calling.
If you quit,
you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Believe me, son. I know.
Now pick your head up, Dr. Dixon.
Yeah.
Hallelujah.
Okay, Tracy, so it looks like...
No, no, no, no. Dr. Rorish!
Dr. Rorish!
Oh, my God.
Okay, Center Stage, please.
Out of the way, out of the way.
Look out. Coming through, people.
Watch your backs. Watch your backs!
Watch out.
Need a suture tray, please, and a 4-O.
Standing by for gauze.
Spread it out. Spread it out.
- How much blood has she lost? - At least three liters.
- I'm gonna start a central line. - Airway first.
Intubate her.
There's too much blood. I can't access the artery.
What have we got?
Patient cut her wrist. Severe blood loss.
It's probably residual swelling from the fire.
Put in the fiber optic.
We're gonna need to slow this bleeding.
Let's push hard. Got it?
Dr. Guthrie.
I need your hands.
Get in here, Rollie. Come on.
I-I can't cross the orange line.
Rollie, open your eyes.
What? What do you mean?
Rollie, open your eyes.
Rollie, open your eyes. Come on.
- Open your eyes. - Open your eyes.
That's right, Rollie.
Come on back to us now.
Good. Good.
Yes. Open your eyes.
Rollie, you're in the OR.
We've got you in a twilight sleep.
That's why you're a little disoriented.
I'm not ready for the surgery yet.
That's not what you said a week ago.
You're in here about four hours. You're doing great.
Rollie, we're gonna continue with the questions now.
What questions?
We asked you to fill out a few pages of personal questions
so I don't venture in areas of your brain I shouldn't.
♪ When you feel so tired ♪
I love this song.
- Go ahead with the next question. - Okay.
♪ Stuck in reverse ♪
Rollie, where did you go to med school?
Um, NYU.
Very good.
Okay.
Where'd you do your residency?
♪ In love to let it go ♪
Angels.
How many children do you have?
♪ But if you never try ♪
I have a son.
Cole.
♪ Just what you're worth ♪
Rollie?
Yeah?
What was your father's name?
- ♪ The lights will guide... ♪ - Man: Humans want answers.
But the kind of answers you need
don't come with photographic evidence.
They require that you believe in something
that you can't see.
Emanuel.
He was a pastor.
Give me the nitroglycerin, IV push. 50 MCG's.
That's why we call it faith.
Otherwise, we'd call it proof.
So what do you think about it?
I guess it's okay.
It's okay? It's just okay?
I'm scared, Father.
- You believe in God, son? - Yes.
Then there's nothing to fear.
Emanuel?
Daddy?
Now you pick up your head, Dr. Dixon.
Why do you keep calling me that?
My name is Rollie. Rollie Guthrie.
♪ Tears stream ♪
♪ Down on your face ♪
♪ When you lose something ♪
♪ You cannot replace ♪
♪ Tears stream ♪
They said "babies." Not baby. Babies.
There's two of them. They're twins.
This is carbon monoxide poisoning.
We're lucky we were able to save the one.
But she's consumed by the death of the other.
He left me all alone when I needed him the most.
Maybe you could talk to him.
- I can't. - Why not?
Because I'm on a plane right now. I wasn't here.
You left him alone. And now people are dead!
This is on you, Rollie.
- No... - ♪ Down on your face ♪
♪ And I... ♪
- ♪ Tears stream ♪ - ♪ Tears stream ♪
- ♪ Down on your face ♪ - ♪ Down on your face ♪
♪ When you lose something ♪
♪ You cannot replace ♪
- ♪ Tears stream ♪ - ♪ Tears streaming, yeah ♪
♪ Down on your face ♪
♪ And I... ♪
♪ Lights will guide ♪
♪ You home ♪
♪ And ignite your bones ♪
♪ And I will try ♪
♪ To fix you ♪
Welcome back.
Rollie, you did great.
So none of it was real?
I'm not the chaplain?
Chaplain?
We don't have a chaplain.
You're a doctor, Rollie. You always will be.
Dr. Guthrie? Why are you crying?
Cole. He never came.
Dad?
Dad, I'm right here.
Cole.
Yeah, I came last night. Remember?
There's something I need to tell you, son.
Guys, come on.
Look, rest, Dad. We got plenty of time.
No, no, no. I need to tell you now.
There's something you don't know, son.
You had a twin, Cole.
A sister. Her name was Lola.
I...
Okay, Dad, I need you to settle down.
No. No, no, no. Listen, listen, listen.
I have to tell you.
She died when you were just 1 year old.
We never told you.
It was a terrible tragedy, Cole.
I-I had come home late from the hospital.
And I went in to check on both of you.
But neither one of you were breathing.
It was a carbon monoxide leak.
- Dad, now's not the time... - No, no, no. Listen to me.
I got the two of you and your mother outside.
I started CPR on you first.
And then you finally woke up.
But when I reached for Lola...
she... she was ice cold.
Cole, I tried to save her.
I did. I did.
But I was too late.
No, no, Cole. Listen, listen to me.
Your mother loved you, son.
She loved you.
But the loss of your sister was just too much for her to handle.
She...
No.
No, that wasn't the whole truth.
We're lucky we were able to save one.
I was consumed by the death of the other.
It... it was me, Cole.
I was the one who couldn't handle the loss.
Your mother was struggling, and I knew it.
But I couldn't help her.
Because I couldn't help myself.
I'm so sorry, son. I'm so sorry.
I love you more than anything, but...
I failed you.
Oh, no. You didn't fail me, Dad.
You didn't fail me.
It's okay.
I love you, too.
And I'm here now.
I love you, son.
I love you, too.
Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com